Midweek Musing: my life as a diorama

Midweek musings is where I start a post without knowing where it will end up. I hate doing things without a plan first, so this is an exercise in stretching myself. Thanks for bearing with me.

Two nights ago I got a phone call at 3:35am. At first I thought the ringing was my alarm, and I felt robbed of a good night’s sleep. Come to find out, it was Eric calling me. I thought he had been sleeping next to me, so hearing his voice on the other end of the line was somewhat alarming, to say the least.

He had been called into work after midnight, and left without waking me. Now he was waiting on a tow truck because he had a flat tire and there wasn’t a spare in the trunk, like we thought. He didn’t get home until 6:30am, and then it was time to go to work.

It was really the last thing we needed in our lives. The last thing anyone needs is a flat tire in the middle of the night, isn’t it? Right now we are a little bit tired of job stress. Mostly, a little bit tired of feeling like job stress is just a part of life we have to accept.

Here is a great thing that has come out of being so exhausted with work and stress: making a bigger priority of taking care of ourselves. Did you know that there is a silver lining to every storm cloud? Pollyanna says so. But really, in our exhaustion we have been making the most of the few moments we do have at home. We have only been doing it because we have no other choice. It was take care of ourselves, or wallow in our wallowy-ness. There has been more of what we enjoy doing, and especially more music, which has done wonders to relieve the stress of the past few weeks. And yes, some nights we can barely muster enough energy to make a decent meal, so we eat pasta in front of the TV. There’s that, too.

Overall, we are just tired. And looking forward to the days when we can eat dinner before 8:00pm again. We are not miserable. Just on the verge of near-insanity.

The other night at our friends’ house, we got on the topic of dioramas. In particular, dioramas as a school assignment. We laughed about them, but I haven’t stopped laughing. The futility, the pointlessness, the single-mindedness, the effort, the hours, the parents who build their kid’s diorama from start to finish because they want the assignment done “right”, the lifespan of the average diorama…I really cannot think of anything more hilarious.

This means I am tired. It also means that I am writing a post that started out kind of depressing, and ended with dioramas, and as a writer I am naturally looking for connections and…

My life is a diorama.

 
I just realized this.

It is an empty shoebox that I am currently focusing all my energy on. It is small and can only hold items that work to the greater good of my single theme. The theme I am working on right now is not my favorite. When pressed, I would say that I would like to make a diorama of the New York City Ballet version of Cinderella, but instead I am assigned this theme of angst and horror: a couple that works too much and eats bland meals in front of the TV until it is time to collapse in bed. That is what I am working with.

But outside of my diorama is a much bigger world filled with mystery that cannot be contained in a single cardboard scene. A world where dioramas live short lives—long enough only to be created and graded. My diorama will be shoved to the top of my closet shelf soon, to be pulled down in years to come and ridiculed, smashed underfoot, and burned in a fire fed by dioramas. I am looking forward to that day. But right now, I have this stupid diorama assignment.

If your life were a diorama, what scene would you be building right now? Have you ever made a diorama? Do you collect dioramas? Are you tired?

P.S. 11 reasons I'm thankful I am not Kate Middleton.