Midweek Musings // Here you go: it's the weight of the world. Love, Google

I am cheating a little bit this week. I was looking through an old blog of mine, and found this post I wrote a couple of years ago. I made a few modifications, and this is the result. Thank you for allowing me to plagiarize myself.

You know, the internet supposedly makes life easier but it also eliminates most excuses one can make for their intelligence. Phrases like “I wonder why…” are no longer passable excuses for not knowing something.  “I can’t remember what other movies he is in…”. Well, what’s stopping you from finding out? If you are reading this in a desert or on a deserted island, consider yourself excused (Yes, that was irony. I am subtly setting the tone for this post. Shhh.)

It baffles my mind that I was one of the privileged first to write my college papers with help from something other than the library system. To think that people in the modern age actually had to physically get up from their desks and walk a distance, search for a book in a card file system, go find the book, use the index, and turn pages to a numeric destination simply to check a fact…or the spelling of a word…just makes my lazy bum so grateful for those stupid green squiggly lines in Microsoft Word.

Have you ever tried to google something that wouldn’t bring up something (or ever wondered when google became a verb?)? It’s not going to happen, I realize this. But it’s fun to try. To test my theory I have decided to risk looking crazy and share what I searched. And now that I have answers for these questions, I am not only smarter, but fulfilled in my duty to find out what I did not know. 

I asked google, “What if people only had one hand”. It gave me “Ten Famous Musicians with Disabilities”. Oh…neat. I not only have the responsibility to look up things to satiate my duty to stifle ignorance, I also must learn how to play an instrument as well as a person with a severe handicap.

I asked google, “What ten things must I do before I turn 25?” Turns out, there are differing opinions on this topic. I feel good about myself depending on which list I read…the one that includes “make homemade cookies” and “read a classic novel” means I can basically do nothing until I turn 25 and feel accomplished. Most lists include more things I have to do before I am 30, or 50, which make me feel like I should stop blogging and get a move on it. I have not visited all seven continents yet and I have not swum with the sharks! As a side note, I don’t understand those lists.  Number one is never “Win the lottery and quit your job”. Give me that list, and I will gladly complete the following 49 tasks.

Okay I am back. I was googling weird questions and got distracted. You guys should try this. Search, “What should I wear today”, “What should I eat today”. “Who is the smartest person in the world”, and “Is it possible to have a dominant recessive trait”. I am learning so much!

So it’s true, no matter what you google, you are never going to get a blank page. However, there are things that Google simply cannot answer. That’s right, I stumped Google. Google has nothing for me when I ask, “I am accomplishing too much, how do I regress?”, “How do I become completely aware of my sinfulness today?”,  “What healthy steps can I take to increase my chances of living to 304?”, or, the question I really want answered, “Before Google, did people have the responsibility to find answers to things, or were they completely, and blissfully excused?”

I suppose I should be grateful I have so much information at my fingertips. But quite frankly, sometimes it is flat out overwhelming. I know you mean well, Google, but if you could just let me be occasionally ignorant with a clear conscience, I might feel a little less burdened. Love, Jenny.

*photo by Eric